Christmas Fun

A Timely Christmas Poem (Author unknown)

T'was the day after Christmas and all through the house, Children sat slack-jawed, bored on the couch.

Wrappings and toys littered the floor, An incredible mess that I did abhor.

With Mom in her robe and I in my jeans, We waded in to get the place clean.

When suddenly the doorbell: it started to clatter, I sprang to the Security-View to check out the matter.

The new-fallen snow, now blackened with soot, Was trampled and icy and treacherous to foot.

But suddenly in view, did I gasp and pant: An unhappy bill collector and eight tiny accountants.

The door flew open and in they came, Stern-looking men with bills in my name.

On Discover, on Visa, on American Express, On Mastercard too, I sadly confess, Right to my limits, then beyond my net worth, Over the top I had charged, in a frenzy of mirth.

The black-suited men, so somber, so strict, I wondered why me that they had first picked.

They stared at me with a look I couldn't miss, That said "Buddy, when are you for paying for this?"

I shrugged my shoulders, but then I grew bolder, Went to the cabinet and pulled out a folder.

"As you can see," I said with a smile, "It's bankruptcy that I'll have to file!" And with a swoop of my arm, my middle digit extended I threw the bills in the fire: the matter had ended.

The scent of burnt ash came to my nose, As up the chimney my credit-worthiness rose.

Without another word they turned and walked out, Got into their limos, but one gave a shout: "You may think that's the answer to all of your fears, But it's nothing you'll charge for at least seven years!